Salvation awaits, friends. Commit your souls to Screen. Gaze deeply -- intently -- into Screen. Devote your lives to Screen's will. Pledge your money, your energy and your complete attention to the greatness and glory of Screen. Your sins will be wiped clean and your purpose revealed by Screen's plan for your lives. Dance and worship together in the shiny glow of Screen. Praise all-knowing Screen.
All of your yesterdays and all of your tomorrows belong to Screen. And to those all around you who pledge their lives to Screen.
Close your eyes each night peering into Screen's magnificence. Awake each morning and seek the will of Screen. Look to the strength of Screen for guidance. Cling to Screen all your days, at home, at work, in the car, in the store. Screen is everywhere, everywhere there is a screen.
Be on fire for Screen. Share your passion for Screen. Feed Screen your life and everything in it, and Screen will feed you hapiness and joy forever and ever. Hallelujah, Glory be to Screen.