Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Having

Lately, life teaches me about the concept of having. Those things — perhaps people — that present the possibilities of attachment.
From dictionary.com (so we're all on the same blog page). 
have 
1. to possess; own; hold for use; contain.
2. to hold, posses, or accept in some relation, as of kindred or relative position.
3. to get, receive, or take: to have a part in
4. to experience, undergo, or endure, as joy or pain.
5. to hold in mind, sight, etc.
Like having something in your hand, an object you hold. Or having something held deeper inside.

Most often, the having — that something — is manufactured and fed by desire: something we want, wish for, or hope .... to have. With small beginnings we start to believe. Over time, we release more of our hearts to it. And believe we have something.  In simple terms, having something is real if both people acknowledge it and want the attachment to continue.

However, attachment is a really hard to master. Rarely do both parties want the same level of attachment at the same time, especially early. Or even over time, patterns become obstacles to attachment, which hinder growth.

Early or late, one usually wants a little more; while one usually wants a little less. Or one doesn't pursue while one likes being chased. Or one scares the other with feelings. Or one can't handle the other's feelings. (Which is perfectly understandable; not everyone is everyone's cup of tea.) Or, one settles into the attachment faster than the other. And probably a million other variables.

And therein the dance plays out. Are we dancing together, or just moving awkwardly in close proximity?